December 5, 2008

Newby Tuesday Tip – Learn What Your Body Language Says About You

by Irene Nash

I’m recommending a great book that I wish I had picked up right when I started real estate (instead of nine years later!)

It’s called  The Nonverbal Advantage – Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work, by Carol Kinsey Goman.  According to the blurb on the back, “studies show that we form opinions of one another within seven seconds of meeting and that 93 percent of the messages people receive from us have nothing to do with what we actually say.”

I can believe that, and I’ve often wondered what I was unconsciously conveying in negotiating and client meeting situations.  (Now I know – and BOY am I bummed!)

Just kidding. :)

Anyway, I think this book stands out from others on the topic because it:

  • Is not overly simplistic.
  • Contains a large number of photographs and examples.
  • Covers many situations, including eye contact, forms of touch, standing and group seating scenarios, to name just a few.
  • Is not saturated with so much theory that you can’t get through it – it’s an easy, informative read.

To give you an example of why this is important, there’s actually a photo on page 79 of someone doing what I know I used to do sometimes when seated during an offer presentation – a little gesture that implies submissiveness.  (No, it’s not lying on the floor saying ‘Take the money,’ it’s a head tilt.)

I intuitively know I’m far less likely to do that now just because I’ve gained confidence, but it would have been nice to have known not to do that from Day 1.

So treat yourself to this book!  Then let me know if it helped you.  Here’s a link to The Nonverbal Advantage on Amazon.

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